The Ocean
by les etoiles et le ciel
Summary: Jean promises Armin he'll take him to the ocean, someday.


"Armin?" The name was chocked out along with the crimson blood that ran down the side of his mouth.

Eyes as blue as the water he so desperately dreamed to see widened in shock.

"Jean," the boy was dumbfounded, he thought he would see the other again when they got back from their mission outside the wall. "Oh god, Jean, your bleeding out!"

He was fighting to keep the tears from streaming.

The blood on Jean was fading in the rain, washing off of his face and body into the puddles, the downpour of rain causing cherry waves to stain Armin's legs.

"Oh god, what happened?" the question barely escaping his chapped lips

An attempt to answer was interrupted by violent coughing.

Brown hair was being dyed maroon by the puddles of bloody water.

The titans had gone where ever they go at night, Armin was attempting to return to camp quickly only to be stopped by Jean.

_Stable duty, Armin hated stable duty._

_Not that he didn't like the horses, he just didn't like cleaning up after them._

_It helped that he had duty with Jean though, he liked Jean._

_Despite his feuds with Eren, he was nice to Armin, very nice._

_They walked side by side as they were walking down the long stable isle._

_Armin could feel the back of the taller boys had brushing against his._

_He felt hesitant fingers slide through his, Armin felt his cheeks burn, then squeezed to reassure the other boy_

_He looked up to him and smiled_

"Armin," Jeans struggling voice whimpered, reaching blindly for Armin's hand.

"Jean, don't." He knew the hope of Jean surviving after laying in a pool of his own blood for God knows how long was simply foolish, but hope was all he could ever really have.

"Armin I'll be fine. I'll make it through this," Jean's grip tightened as much as it could. "It's not that bad."

The tears fell now, blending with the falling rain.

"Both of us, we'll both make it. Yeah, we will. Through all of it." Jean smiled, blood covering his teeth.

_Levi made them organize the files after being in a particularly bad mood_

_They had bumped into each other and Armin dropped all the papers he was carrying_

_Jean apologized rapidly and Armin assured him it was okay just as much_

_They bent down to pick the papers up_

_Jean gave his stack of papers to Armin as they both finished cleaning them_

_Armin smiled and Jean stared at him_

_His eyes widened as Jean leaned a little closer and flashed an awkward grin_

_He closed his eyes as Jean laid a peck on his lips and pulled away_

"Jean please," he didn't know what to say to the bloody mess laying next to him.

_It had been 2 and 1/2 years that they have been in the Survey Corps. _

_Armin had left dinner early_

_He was walking back to the cabins so he could maybe read a bit of his book before going to sleep early._

_He saw a shadow from behind the cabin near the trees, a small conversation never hurt before bed_

_He rounded the corner of the cabin and saw Jean leaning against a tree _

_'Armin,'_

_It had been this strange routine between the 2 of them_

_Whenever they were alone the would kiss, innocently of course_

_But Jean had put his hand on Armin's cheek and kissed him_

_But the kiss deepened_

_Armin dropped his book_

_They had been doing this dance for over a year_

_But _the first time they had been at risk of others seeing them__

__Something changed, Armin felt a hard surface against his back__

__It got deeper, passionate, ___fiery_

__Jean pulled back looking scared__

__Armin pulled him back in__

__He began going down Jean's neck__

"It's alright Armin, I'll be fine, yeah." Jean wheezed trying to convince the both of them

_'What's that you're reading?'_

_'A book about the ocean.'_

_'What's that?'_

_'Miles and miles of salt water, it covers the Earth more than the land does.' he spoke with his eyes shinning_

_'That sounds really amazing.'_

_'Yeah, it does.' 'Hey Jean?'_

_'Yeah?'_

_'Do you think, maybe, in another life I'll see the ocean?'_

_'Why not?' Jean ruffled Armin's hair._

"Armin, don't cry for me, I'm fine." his words were unconvincing, the bloodstains on his shirt increased in size.

"Jean, I can't,"

"Armin, I'll-" he broke into a fit of coughing up blood "I'm going to be fine, better than ever."

"Jean don't please don't" he was unable to control the tears falling from his eyes.

Jean began to seize and cough, he stopped a bit later, a completely dead look taking place in his eyes.

"I'll... take you to the ocean."

"No, stop, please stop." Armin was becoming overwhelmed with this situation. This wasn't what was supposed to happen. He was supposed to see Jean back at camp, they were supposed to talk about anything they felt like, Jean was supposed to fight with Eren. This wasn't supposed to be happening.

_Armin was reading in his bed when Jean walked in to the room_

_Had had a black eye_

_Armin asked what happened _

_Jean muttered something along the lines of "stupid Jaeger"_

_'You need to stop getting into fights with Eren!'_

_"But,'_

_'I do not like seeing either of you hurt!'_

_'Sorry Armin.'_

_Jean ruffled Armin's hair and sat down next to him asking what he was reading_

_They read about Buddhism for the next couple hours_

"Armin don't cry, I told you I'm okay." his voice had not held the urgency it always had.

"I told you, I'm going to take... you to the ocean." his voice became strained, "Yeah, the ocean, you really want to see the water I know that."

"Jean,"

"We'll see the ocean, we will I promise. Maybe not now, but we will. When the titans are gone. Even if it's some other world, some other life."

Gross sobs filled the silence, Jean was dying and all he was thinking about was Armin's well being; Armin's happiness.

"I-We'll do everything you want to do, but I need to sleep." One last set of coughs came through Jean's lips. "I'm just really tired."

Jean's eyes shut for a while but his grip was still there, he opened his mouth several times to try to say something, Armin knew he was fighting as hard as he could, all to say something to him.

Jean's eyes opened slightly, glossy with tears.

"Ar-min, pl-ease, be ha-" he coughed a few more times and his grip loosened completely, the tears caught in his eyes finally fell.

The world stopped for a moment.

The sobs became louder, he held Jean's blood soaked hand to his face

Jean had just died, he suffered horribly, bled out on Armin, trying to tell him to be happy without him.

Jean's life had faded away like tobacco smoke in the air._  
><em>

Armin should have known, because death is as inevitable as the rain falling or the tides in the ocean crashing against the shoreline.

He just didn't think it would be this way.

* * *

><p>I'm sorry, this was probably terribly shitty and I'm probably going to end up deleting it unless a get at least 1 good review, it's 3 in the morning and i was bored and having major Jearmin vibes and felt like being a depressing little shit<p>

update: i fixed all the typos that i made when i was writing this half a sleep, the positive responses made me feel great as well :)


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